Mdtryhht

My boss has a history of bullying multiple people in the past to work crazy hours to meet absolutely unrealistic deadlines which have led to numerous cases of serious depression and even one (thankfully unsuccessful) attempt of suicide among his employees. I have heard a story of one person getting so depressed, it led to a divorce and him emigrating to another country.

He is known in the industry for developing a start-up company with his partners and selling it for a couple dozen million euros.

In public is a very soft spoken and friendly person. I would say he seems the friendliest person I have ever met, which causes cognitive dissonance in my brain. This is how a lot of other business owners, managers and generally people in the industry know him.

In Sweden, where I live it is a part of the culture to avoid confrontations at all cost, so to what I have seen so far, most people who had any guts to deal with the situation quietly quit.

I have done something stupid. I confronted him publicly and demanded a change. Lots of people supported me privately, but not a single one joined me in the public.

His reaction was cutting my benefits, creating obstructions to my work, not inviting me to meetings, ignoring me, taking away my projects and assigning made up meaningless tasks to me.

I have informed HR and after some behind closed doors talks I was offered either relocation to Germany (as I am German myself) or 6 months pay and resignation. Since I have a mortgage, wife and two preschool kids, I have chosen the latter.

Now I am searching for a new job and facing a true job seeker's nightmare:

• interviews being cancelled at the last moment


• people that tried to recruit me in the past do not even reply to my emails


• yesterday's interviewers hanging out the phone


• etc.

Last Friday a friend of mine from the company I have had an absolutely fantastic interview last week, after which I received super short rejection email, told me everyone approved me, but last week they received an email from my current boss telling them not to hire me, because "I am conflicting" and "will certainly cause problems".

Today, I had a quick chat with a union representative and a lawyer. Both told me that technically he is just exercising his freedom of speech and it'll be hard to run a legal action against him, but I should collect all the evidence and proofs of all the interactions between him and me, so I went back to office after work hours and found out that my inbox is missing lots of emails sent to him and HR.

This guy destroyed my reputation and all the evidence of this.

Now I am having a panic attack and trying to calm myself with whiskey while my wife and kids are watching a movie.

How can I prevent my former boss from sabotaging future job opportunities?

TL;DR I have a bullying manager who is very well-connected in the industry and is destroying my reputation.

I would suggest being forward on fist interview / CV stage and state that XXX have a personal grudge against you and you don`t want to get in to the details due to being non-confrontational person etc.

State that your previous in-company move was due to him hounding you.

This way you would move whatever he says about your from professional to personal grudge level.

I am not very surprised about paper trail being missing, when dealing with such a snake, any evidence anyone may have against him, he would do all in his power to destroy
And when it is his word against yours it comes down to your metaphorical weight in the category you clash.

I think the real problem here is that your boss knows you are looking for employment elsewhere, and also seems to know with whom and when you are interviewing for jobs. How is he getting this information? If you can block his access to this information, he can't run interference on your job hunting.

If the industry is so small that this is not feasible, you may need to consider leaving the industry for another line of work. Some wells cannot be unpoisoned, sadly.

A few thoughts:

Last Friday a friend of mind from the company I have had an absolutely fantastic interview last week, after which I received super short rejection email, told me everyone approved me, but last week they received an email from my current boss telling them not to hire me, because "I am conflicting" and "will certainly cause problems".

You should definitely attempt to get this company to hear your side of the story. Assuming you have worked at other companies, your side of the story will be much more compelling with recommendations from other companies you have worked for. Additionally, you should find other people that have quit this company and would be willing to privately vouch for you. This will also bolster your side of things and could be useful for any legal action you might take.

Today, I had a quick chat with a union representative and a lawyer. Both told me that technically he is just exercising his freedom of speech and it'll be hard to run a legal action against him, but I should collect all the evidence and proofs of all the interactions between him and me, so I went back to office after work hours and found out that my inbox is missing lots of emails sent to him and HR.

You should write down everything that happened in detail. Things like:

• The date you filed a complaint with HR


• The details of your confrontation, including the motivation for it.

I'm shocked to hear that they say he's exercising his freedom of speech. It seems to go well beyond that, even though the part about winning a settlement being difficult is probably true. However, you can probably get him to stop by getting an attorney to send him a letter threatening legal action if he doesn't stop defaming you (this is usually the first step to a legal battle anyway).

My last suggestion is to reach out to people who you already know in the industry for help. People you know personally shouldn't be scared off by this guy emailing them.

Don’t know the Swedish law. In other countries you could sue the boss for defamation, and the new company would be asked by the court what exactly they were told (and not giving everything that was said would be a criminal offence).

Contact a lawyer.

I felt like giving the risky advice here.

First, I find it weird that the lawyer said this was his right of speech. I'm not aware of Sweden legislation, but it's hard to believe he can prevent you from getting a job that effectively without lying and actively seeking your potential employers, and this should be diffamation anywhere in the world. Was this a paid lawyer or some public defender? Consider getting yourself a good well paid lawyer. Even some word games like saying you "will certainly cause problems" is a speculative prediction rather than a fact based comment such as (he caused problems when he was here).

After you do it, or decide it's no use...

Pick a recorder and go talk to your former boss.

First, try to make clear what your reasons were when you confronted him. He might not have seen things from your point of view, so maybe the narrative in his mind is pretty different from that in your mind.

Ask him how he feels about it, if he found it to be that offensive, give him an opportunity to discuss it.

If he is a reasonable person, you might be at better terms at this point of the conversation, if not, continue to the next step anyway.

Ask him about the campaign he's been pushing to make you lose job opportunities. What reason does he possibly have to do so? He can't be that well connected that he just happens to talk with everyone all the time to have the opportunity to share this thoughts about you.

He might answer that he's only been giving his honest opinion upon being asked. If your story is true, he could be lying, and you've got yourself a recorder. I don't know how things go in Sweden, but usual practice is the HR have their methods to find out if you are a problematic person, and call previous employers mostly to confirm past salary and if the passage through said company actually did happen (i.e. they check if you are not lying on your CV). They should normally contact financial people, not the CEO or your direct boss unless you willingly gave them his contact.

Chances are, if your former boss is indeed such a bully, but you've kept your calm, you might have plenty evidence at your hands. I'd expect such person to threaten you after that much questioning. If he is a pretty good liar and kept his calm, you might go on and ask what exactly he's telling your potential employers. My bet is that he heavily exaggerates.

Also question him mentioning things like "what did you mean when wrote me an email saying such and such?". He'll likely lie and contradict you, but the goal is to produce evidence of the email being deleted from your account. him deleting your emails may be considered "evidence destruction", it is a crime in some countries.

Give him a month or so, and he should cease his activities. Wait a few months so he might forget about you. This conversation should have brought him satisfaction and remorse enough if he's not a psychopath. Do consider moving to a bigger city if possible. Consider interrupting your job hunt in the meantime.

But, if things persist, check again with some lawyer if legal action would be that much out of reach.